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23 February 2009 @ 12:06 am
I was thinking awhile ago about what I want out of life and relationships (romantic and otherwise) and recent events has reinforced some of those concepts.
Want: Dependability, Companionship, Intellectually satisfying

Do Not Want: Fuckwittage, of any flavor

There are other things, of course, but those are the big ones currently.
It doesn't seem terribly complicated... and yet apparently it is. :(
Tags: ,
Current Mood: crankycranky
JinglyMushroomjinglymushroom on February 23rd, 2009 06:32 am (UTC)
What is that? -- The wittage, I mean... I'm guessing it's someone trying to be witty, but I'm not sure I understand what the rest of it means... Jokes at other people's expense? Just plain stupid? Annoying...?

And I sorry it's hard to find that. :(
JinglyMushroomjinglymushroom on February 23rd, 2009 06:33 am (UTC)
Er, "that" being the combination of the above-mentioned traits that you would like...
eithni: inferno eyeeithni on February 23rd, 2009 06:38 am (UTC)
Heh. It's a combination of willful cluelessness and/or irresponsibility. It's hard to define, but it was coined and beautifully defined by Bridget Jones, where it was specifically applied to romantic situations ("emotional fuckwittage"). :P

Edited at 2009-02-23 06:38 am (UTC)
Mark Gordonmtgordon on February 23rd, 2009 11:44 am (UTC)
Sonia's a huge fan of Bridget Jones, which I suspect is partly a consequence of her also being a huge fan of Jane Austen.
eithni: greeneithni on February 23rd, 2009 03:20 pm (UTC)
:) likely so.
world_rim_walkeworld_rim_walke on February 23rd, 2009 03:23 pm (UTC)
It sounds like it could include lack of communication and passive-aggressive actions.

Good luck, lady.
Toki/Otes/Tonyotesmacke on February 23rd, 2009 01:36 pm (UTC)
I had to look it up myself -

I'm afraid that it happens, and despite the definition in the Urban Dictionary, it happens a lot from both men and women (one of the reasons I didn't marry until in my 30's).
eithni: meaneithni on February 23rd, 2009 03:18 pm (UTC)
The last definition, fuckwittage in the extended, non-emotional/relationship sense is also used, essentially for anything that is dumb enough to make you boggle, then wonder "why the *#@! did they do THAT?!?"
cassbunnycassbunny on February 24th, 2009 10:29 pm (UTC)
definition 2:
I knew one of those, good riddance.
FencerTfencert on February 23rd, 2009 03:10 pm (UTC)
Well, I can't help with the first three, but I have the fourth one covered... oh wait, was there no comma in there? Damn.

Want: Dependability, Companionship, Intellectually satisfying
eithni: inferno eyeeithni on February 23rd, 2009 03:14 pm (UTC)
*laughs* I initially read that you had the fourth thing (ie fuckwittage) covered. ;)
FencerTfencert on February 23rd, 2009 03:40 pm (UTC)
Well, if that's worth any extra points I suppose I could play along...
Uncle Mikeybelmikey on February 23rd, 2009 03:16 pm (UTC)
Sad, but true :-(
Miss Kat: Bubble wrap therapy :: unknownzarhooie on February 23rd, 2009 04:51 pm (UTC)
*hands you some bubble wrap*
eithni: jumpingeithni on February 23rd, 2009 06:14 pm (UTC)

DameJ: Moaidamej on February 23rd, 2009 06:09 pm (UTC)
I think it's important to distinguish between the two categories of f*wits:
1. Those who conceal their intentions in order to get laid; and
2. Those who don't know what they really want or how to go about getting it.

The latter type can the educated. The former type is a waste of time and energy.

Several years ago, I read Debora Tannen's book "You Just Don't Understand." I have found it very helpful in translating what a man says into what he really means (or what a woman would say to express the same meaning).
eithni: peekabooeithni on February 23rd, 2009 06:13 pm (UTC)
Happily, most of the Do Not Want has been in social, not romantic, relationships lately. Nevertheless, that sounds like a good book. Still have it? May I borrow it?
DameJdamej on February 23rd, 2009 07:05 pm (UTC)
I got it from the library, so I don't still have it.
eithni: sofonisbaeithni on February 23rd, 2009 07:10 pm (UTC)
Fair enough. Presumably I can get it from there too.
Eliane/Jennifer: child reader bookgflower on February 25th, 2009 11:34 pm (UTC)
I still have the copy I got for my Gender Studies class as a college junior, I think. Let me know if you'd like to borrow it.

Or if I'm remembering wrong, I can get you the copy from the library.
eithni: sofonisbaeithni on February 27th, 2009 12:07 am (UTC)
That would be cool... take a look and see. :)
Aaron (Rusty) Lloydrustmon on February 23rd, 2009 07:00 pm (UTC)
No longer in Normalhbevert on February 23rd, 2009 07:50 pm (UTC)
I also have read that Deborah Tannen book and found it infinitely more enlightening than any women's magazine article about how to understand the opposite sex could ever be. I credit Tannen, my relationship with my most recent ex-boyfriend, growing up with two brothers and some eye-opening 1960s books like _Open Marriage_, _Everything You Wanted to Know About Sex But Were Afraid to Ask_, _The Feminine Mystique_ and _Future Shock_ with pushing me to change my outlook to make my relationships healthier.
If you haven't already committed to spending the rest of your life with the fuckwit (as in marriage), drop him now to make yourself available for someone better. This works with fuckwit friends, too.