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19 May 2010 @ 05:26 am
Flavors of crazy  
I've always been miserable at talking about internal thought processes and emotional stuff. I've gotten better, but there's still a lot of exclusively internal dialogue. :/ This is helpful in that it keeps me somewhat protected from my crazier thoughts leaking out into the world, but it is sort of a problem when I'm not really comfortable talking about those thoughts with someone else to determine whether what I'm thinking is seventeen flavors of crazy or the most sound thought I've had in years...
Current Mood: restlessrestless
DameJ: Grad Picturedamej on May 19th, 2010 12:51 pm (UTC)
I also tend to keep those kinds of thoughts internal. Sometimes it helps me to imagine describing the issue to a stranger. Can I find words to accurately describe my thoughts that don't make it sound like I need to be locked up?
Keelincaoilfhionn on May 19th, 2010 01:30 pm (UTC)
I have a paper journal for exactly those kind of thoughts. If I write it down, it's easier for me to decide what makes sense and what's just postcards from crazytown. It kind of takes the place of damej's stranger.
Gwynethgwyneth1362 on May 19th, 2010 02:22 pm (UTC)
I agree with caoilfhionn. I tend to write things down, set them aside for a little bit, and re-read them. Then, if I understand them, or feel like I could let someone else read them, I think they aren't crazy.
Splott: TMIsplott on May 19th, 2010 03:00 pm (UTC)
I on the other hand blather on at length...there's gotta be a happy medium between you and ME, right? :P
Denisilaifire on May 19th, 2010 04:18 pm (UTC)
*blink* *blink* But aren't the people whose ideas are truly wonderful and correct sound like they're mad to the unenlightened?
Sweet Ol' Berwyn: HugMebaron_berwyn on May 19th, 2010 05:48 pm (UTC)
I talk to myself, but I don't listen to what I say. I get along pretty well, because I'm with me every day.
Eliane/Jennifer: moon campinggflower on May 19th, 2010 07:12 pm (UTC)
What would be so bad about being crazy? However you define crazy? I tend to define it as having some sort of DSM IV-diagnosible mental illness. But have you read the DSM IV? Some of those things are really not that bad at all. And those that are, well, there are treatments, and in any case, they don't make one a bad person, they are just unfortunate happenstance.

In any case, I agree with the other commenters, there's GOT to be some way you can externalize your thoughts. We all have this massive blind spot to what's going on in our head. Whether you write them, speak them, paint them, whatever, until you get the thoughts out, they can seem serious/scary/weird/crazy. (Or just annoying.)
whymcwhymc on May 19th, 2010 08:37 pm (UTC)
I sometimes do the same thing that damej does - use a bit of my own brain as a sounding board, also, I occasionally create profiles on conservative websites under assumed names and air my ideas there... if they think that anything I say makes sense, I immediately give up on it.

Also - if you'd like to chat, I can offer to tell you some nutzor crazy things from inside my own head in exchange.
Kumakumakun on May 20th, 2010 12:13 am (UTC)
I generally find that both you and your friends (not specifically you, just the general 'you') are never the best barometer of whether something you're thinking is batshit crazy or not. You will invariably think it is, while your friends will invariably think that it's not. If you want a GOOD barometer, tell the complete stranger, and see what he things. Of course, then you have a complete stranger thinking you're batshit crazy for saying something to out of context and completely having nothing to do with him, but there's only so many roads you can walk.
reneekytokorpireneekytokorpi on May 20th, 2010 01:46 pm (UTC)
Heh, I'm just plain crazy sometimes. I call it a good day when none of the mess in my head verbalizes and a fantastic day when it doesn't affect my actions/behavior/relationships.

I filter like mad, which, when you hear what I say, is a frightening thought. Think of the weird shit I say and do... now think that I've managed to filter 95% of what I could be saying and doing...

I'm lucky that I have a few very close friends who will call me on being crazy and tell me to knock it off. (Similar to how you did several times for me. :) Except they do this regularly and without any real appreciation.)

Maybe, if it involves a person, find someone who has no interest in the situation and is unlikely to talk to them? Friends who live far away are good for this, as are family members.

I talk to a therapist (because, sadly, a lot of the time I AM just crazy and that needs to be addressed) but when I'm not being crazy, she and I just chat about stuff that is frustrating. It's helpful, because she isn't involved and nothing I say will upset her. Now, this doesn't mean I suggest becoming really crazy to get a therapist, but a similar type relationship can be helpful for thinking/venting.

:/ I hope it clarifies for you so you don't stress too much.
FencerTfencert on May 20th, 2010 03:55 pm (UTC)
I think everyone has crazy thoughts. Of course, I am a mad scientist in real life, so I may be biased. While we mediate our "out there" thoughts by filtering them on the basis of social graces, this can leave us without any means of determining if they might, in fact, have some merit. I think one of MY goals in selecting my closest friends is to have a few folks around to whom I can present these crackpot ideas.

Now sure, they might say something like "FencerT- you can't take over the world THAT way!" or "Herding lawyers into protein reclamation centers remains illegal in the US!", but they don't say things like that to be mean. They just want to help me find the BEST way to take over the world, and the BEST way to convert our nation's surfeit of Law School graduates into trasplantable organs and feedstock additives.

So anyway, if you ever need someone to bounce crazy ideas off of, give me a call. I'd be happy to help in that way. Similar to the way I am on call should you change your mind about producing offspring- service IS its own reward after all! ;-)
Roxelanaroxelana on May 20th, 2010 07:54 pm (UTC)
ego_id_non_feciego_id_non_feci on May 20th, 2010 11:02 pm (UTC)
I talk all the time- thoughts I'm sure are crazy, thoughts I'm sure are not crazy, big thoughts, scary thoughts, little thoughts, petty thoughts.

It's nice, but it doesn't often give me any better insight into what's going on in there.

We make our own realities, after all. It's up to you if you WANT to connect your reality to someone else's. :)