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20 March 2014 @ 11:52 pm
Bittersweet  
It is strange to think this is my last night in the house as my house. It will be some weeks before I actually move and I am very much looking forward to beginning the new chapter of my life that said move will bring... still, it is a bittersweet moment.

I bought this house with so much hope and optimism for the future and that was followed by years full of heartbreak and troubles. Life took a sharp turn on me and I ended up going down a path I had not at all planned on, or even anticipated. There were hard years, but I learned so much about myself and how to be a better person. I met new people and got to know some old friends in new ways. In this house, I've had tea with a single good friend while stitching away the night and I've had every surface in the house covered with party-goers and crashers. I had adventures and parties and really amazing good times that made the house ring with laughter and my heart swell with happiness. There's such depth of pain and joy soaked into these walls. The only thing that mitigates the sorrow of leaving is knowing that this house that I have loved so well will pass to my apprentice and be loved properly by people I love too.

I've learned so much by owning this house - from painting skills to home repair skills to knowing-when-to-call-a-pro skills. There's something wonderful in owning your own place and being able to do anything you would like with it, even paint the kitchen a truly virulent shade of green.There is something awful in owning a home in that whatever goes wrong, it is your problem. I've learned that I am able to handle more of those problems than I'd have believed. I've never doubted myself as a competent person, but I've learned that I can be competent in whole new ways by being a homeowner.

The new house is a nice house, but so far it is just a house, and in certain ways, more of an idea of a house than a house that feels truly real yet. I hope to make it a home, with a bright, happy future, full of new challenges and joys, but right now it is a very scary thing. There is so much to do in the buying of the house, remodeling, and moving... and that pales in comparison to the work and the risks of building a whole new life there. I'm really quite confident that this is the right choice, that this WILL work, that I WILL be happy there, and yet, it's new and untested and so terrifying in its potential, both positive and negative. I'm thrilled and anxious, all at once...

Bittersweet. It's really the only word that even begins to hint at how I feel tonight. It seems so strange that by this time tomorrow, this place will no longer belong to me, not in the same sense. It's a close of a chapter that has not been easy, but has been on balance good, in favor of a new chapter that is full of promise, but has yet to be written.

So, on this last night, I'll say good night to you, my friends, this one last time from Eithni's Home for Wayward Girls. Tomorrow we turn the page.
 
 
Current Mood: pensivepensive
 
 
 
DameJ: Rumjungledamej on March 21st, 2014 11:37 pm (UTC)
Congratulations on your recent life accomplishments, and good luck with the changes to come. Enjoy your adventure in Istanbul!
Evil Imperial Barbariancarrot_khan on March 22nd, 2014 11:53 am (UTC)
I do not remember why you are moving or where you are moving to.
eithni: Bustlingeithni on April 14th, 2014 04:28 am (UTC)
So, I am stupidly far behind in replying, but I am moving to Sun Prairie because I bought a new house with the significant other. :)
Evil Imperial Barbariancarrot_khan on April 14th, 2014 12:52 pm (UTC)
Speaking of which; I saw a particular picture with a particular ring and I thought "Did I even know she was dating someone?"

Unless you went to Istanbul for an arranged marriage. I ain't hatin'. ;)
eithni: Bustlingeithni on April 14th, 2014 01:40 pm (UTC)
I've only been with the fellow for about five months, but it's Greg - I've known him for something like 16 years and dated him for 8, back in the day. We decided to give it another try and, when it looked to be working out, decided to take the plunge. In for a penny, in for a pound.

Edited at 2014-04-14 01:40 pm (UTC)
Evil Imperial Barbariancarrot_khan on April 17th, 2014 05:06 pm (UTC)
Greg. Greg. SCA name? Do I know this Greg? Blessing anyway and how breathless to be falling into it the way you are. :)
eithnieithni on April 17th, 2014 11:53 pm (UTC)
Grisha Razumni, but you prolly don't know him, he's not super active.
reneekytokorpireneekytokorpi on March 27th, 2014 03:19 pm (UTC)
This made me teary. I'm glad to have been a wayward girl, no matter how briefly, and to have found refuge in your home. You helped me during a hard time, and I'm forever grateful for that. I hope your new place is lovely and kinder to you and your future. :)
eithni: Bustlingeithni on April 14th, 2014 04:29 am (UTC)
It was lovely to have you, my dear, and I am so happy we are both in much better places these days!
reneekytokorpireneekytokorpi on April 16th, 2014 06:10 am (UTC)
So many people told me things would get better, but it's hard to see until you're out the other side. :)
eithni: darkladyeithni on April 16th, 2014 06:33 am (UTC)
Truth.